Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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