i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
