Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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