spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
