My hand turned me down
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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