You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
