That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
