Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
