Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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