The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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