I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
