I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
