Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
