You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
