I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
