Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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