I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
