I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
