why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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