Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
