Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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