she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
