Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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