I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
