I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
