Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
