On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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