i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
