Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
