i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
