i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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