super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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