my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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