He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
