I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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