Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
