He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found puke in my bra..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
