he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
