you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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