sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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