I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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