Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
