Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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