D3 body, D1 cock
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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