Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
