i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
