You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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