just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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