I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
