my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
