You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my poor anus
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
