Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
