I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
