on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
