yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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