Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
