yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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