Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
someone owes me an orgasm
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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